Who Carries The Mental Load When Nobody Sees It

You know that feeling when you finally sit down to work and you’re already wiped out and all you’ve done is make choices for everyone else? That’s what Shelby and Kayla unpack, honestly and in real time, as we talk about decision fatigue and the mental load that quietly runs your day. From sick kids and last-minute school messages to travel recovery and the constant “Where is it?” questions, we get into why the smallest decisions can be the ones that break you.

We also dig into a truth that surprises a lot of high-achieving women: business decisions can feel easier than personal ones. At work, the feedback loop is clearer, the priorities are sharper, and the energy you spend often comes back as fulfillment or income. At home, decisions are endless, emotionally loaded, and paired with invisible labor. We talk about being the default keeper of the schedule, the pantry, the appointments, the plans and how even supportive partners can add to the burden when they ask what to do instead of noticing and doing.

You’ll hear practical, real-life strategies to reduce decision fatigue: deleting tasks that never needed to exist, delegating without redoing someone else’s work, empowering kids to make age-appropriate choices, and building rest into your life before burnout forces it. We also name the power of validation, especially hearing “I see you” and “this isn’t fair,” and we call out the double standard of celebrating men for basic adult chores. If you’re tired of carrying the thinking for everyone, press play, then subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with your best tip for making decisions feel lighter.

Purchase "Market Like A Boss" at shelbysmarketingbook.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:31

What's up? It's Shelby and Kayla, and it's between us and you guys. Maybe we should have added that to the title. Between us and you with Shelby and Kayla. How are you doing today, girl?

SPEAKER_02 0:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:49

I am doing good. We were just talking about this. It's like a rainy day in May and feeling a lot of feelings,

Rainy Day Catch Up

SPEAKER_00 0:58

but I'm here and we're doing this.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Yeah, me too, me too. I know. It's like, wasn't it supposed to rain in April instead of Arkansas was like, nah, we're gonna wait till May. We're gonna throw you guys all off today.

SPEAKER_00 1:13

This whole weather year has been insane. Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 1:18

I'm doing okay. You know, I got back from Vegas. I went spent a whole week in Vegas, by the way. Forgot to tell you that. So that was fun. But there is too much Vegas. Like there is a such thing as too much time in Vegas.

unknown 1:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

It was um more than I'm not allowed to say what kind of conference, but an insurance conference that Nick works for, a big name. Anyway, so um every time you mention their name, anyways, you have to go through compliance. So, anyways, so we went out there for that and we're like, oh, we don't have kids the weekend before. And we're like, let's just go out the week before. Yeah, that was yeah, seven days later. I was like, bro, I'm ready to go. About three days after drinking all day. I was like, I'm done. I am not as young as I once used to be. So here we go. Yeah. And one no money. One no money. So I'm glad you have no okay. So today we're talking about decision fatigue. Uh, when you're the one that everyone looks to. So that's our topic today. And all of us also, and obviously, it comes at a perfect time for both of us, right? Our topics are crazy. We've planned these out like weeks ago, and every time we've done one, it's like, why is this so accurate in my life right now?

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Yeah. I so

What Decision Fatigue Feels Like

SPEAKER_00 2:43

I was like, what are we gonna talk about today? So I popped in, looked at the document, and it just so happens today, even yesterday, my daughter has been sick. She hasn't felt well, she has a fever, actually. So she's home from school. But like it's even those little decisions. For example, yesterday she didn't have the fever, but didn't feel well. And I'm like, should she go? Should she not go? Yeah, and making that decision and then deciding today was easier because there was the fever, but stuff like, does she need to go to the doctor? Should I take her to the doctor? Should I not take her to the doctor? This, that, the other, trying to make all of these decisions, and then you finally sit down at your desk to do some work, yeah. You feel exhausted.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah, and I I mean, I'm in the same way because last night I needed again, simple things of I haven't slept since getting back from Vegas. So I was like, we're gonna go to bed early. And then she wants to argue, and it's like, I don't care, you know. Then I had to make a decision of, yeah, sure, you can sleep with me, because the only way she was gonna go to bed an hour early, because mom needed to go to bed an hour early, you know. And yeah, this morning at school, we um her school's really great about like giving us last-minute um notifications. And so we pull up to school and like all these kids are in their swimsuits, and I was like, um, did I miss something? So then I like walk her to class and I was like, um, is there like a like some kind of pool day going on? And they're like, oh no, no, no, that's for the older kids. I was like, oh, thank God. Because she was about to just play in the pool with her uniform on. I really had no time to like go and do anything. But it's the decisions that we're making in those small moments, like you're talking about, do you need to talk to the doctor? Do you not to? Do I need a going home to get a change of clothes? Do I have to bring it back? Do I and it's just like those things add up, and then whenever we are in our business making decisions for our clients, we're like, okay, well, here we are again. But I'll say, my decision making in my business becomes so much easier for me than in my personal life.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Yeah. Yes, I'm so glad you said that. I feel the same way so often. It is, it's like so much harder for me to decide what I want to eat eat for dinner, like when I go to a restaurant, than it is for me to make a decision about my business or how to handle a situation or something like that.

SPEAKER_01 5:05

Why do you feel so I actually learned this in therapy about myself? So it's about my

Why Business Decisions Feel Easier

SPEAKER_01 5:12

business gives back to me. Like I find fulfillment in my business every day. So like I find fulfillment in what I do. Um, it is how I like I was always worried about being a workaholic, which borderline, yes. But she says you're not really a workaholic because you're not escaping a reality to work. She said, You work because you enjoy what you do. It gives you happiness. It's just like you with your yoga. You go and do yoga because it fulfills you, it gives you happiness. And so I was like, okay, okay. And so I think that that's why making decisions in my business makes me happier than what I'm gonna eat for dinner. I mean, honestly, I would be on a liquid diet if I could, because I would make a smoothie, go to bed, make a smoothie, go. I mean, it's just like, okay, great, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm a routine person, and that's what it would just already be that decision would be made for me because I'm not a food person. Like, I'm just don't care what it tastes like or anything. It's probably weird, but it's what it is. And so, um, and I'm making money. If I'm making decisions in my business, it's because I'm making money, unless it's a decision that I may be losing money on. Um, but it's you know, oriented around money, which also is one of my drivers as well in life. And I don't think what I eat for dinner or where we go for vacation is gonna really do anything for me, you know.

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Yeah, it's interesting. I think too, we're both very smart, we're both intelligent, we're both good at prioritizing, and we're probably doing that without realizing it to prioritizing the highest return on investment when it comes to spending energy on making decisions. Do I want to spend more on making a decision about what color pin to order? No, I have zero cares in the world. Zero cares. Just give me a pin. I don't care. But I know some people will, like him and ha and read reviews and this and that and the other. I don't care. Just give me the thing that I need, and then when it comes time to make a decision that is actually gonna be a bigger return on investment for me, a higher impact sort of a decision, then that's where I want to do that. That's so true. But so often.

The Hidden Decisions Women Carry

SPEAKER_01 7:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:27

Yeah. And as women, I feel like actually, I don't feel like that. Yes, I know that we're bombarded with decisions as mothers and women all day long that men never have to attend to. Even in accordance to stuff like beauty standards. Beauty standards. What products are we gonna use? Where are we gonna get our hair done? How are we gonna do our nails? What are we gonna wear? These are all decisions that we are having to make every single day. And so many women I talk to are like, we would actually feel so freed if we didn't have to make those decisions, if we didn't have to be confined by you know the beauty standards that are not to get not to go down that rabbit hole. But it's a whole thing that we are spending time and energy and money on making decisions, and then of course executing those decisions. They're exhausting, frankly, they're exhausting, and at this point in my life I don't care anymore. Like you were saying about food, I feel that we have clothes, and about this is maybe three outfits that are on repeat.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

Every morning I do so bad at choosing my outfits because I go through like, well, you know, the little phases of our cycles, right? So, like on some weeks I'm like, okay, I feel real good in this. And then like other weeks I'm like, why did I think I look good in this? Like, this is the faddest I've ever seen myself, you know, or whatever. And so I can't make a decision whenever it comes to my clothes because it really depends on what my attitude is that day, how much sleep I got, did I drink enough water the day before? Am I bloated? I mean, today we're like looking casual because I'm like at the office all day. So it really depends on what I'm doing. But I'm not gonna lie, I was like, I'm gonna be on video tomorrow. I really need to do a full face of makeup. And I didn't, I mean, it kind of looks, anyways, I didn't. And so it's like I allowed myself to show myself grace in because I know that everybody watching this knows we show up as our authentic self, right? And I was like, ponytail and you know, half face of makeup, that's what today's gonna be because that's how I'm gonna have to show up today. And it's a hard thing to make that decision because then you worry about the judgment because any decision we make is gonna be judged, right? Like, is the other person happy with us? Did we make enough money? Could we make more money with that decision, or could it have been done, you know, dealt with differently? Should we have taken our kid to the doctor? Speaking of that, my baby was in the hospital when she was 18 months old because she had the flu. And I had never dealt with her having a serious like illness before. And it was, she literally passed out on the couch. I freaked out, and the doctor was like, You barely made it in time. Talk about like making you feel like a terrible mother, and that I didn't make the right decision, even though I did I wasn't educated. Like

Health Scares And Mom Guilt

SPEAKER_01 10:18

I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know her having a fever for five days was bad. Like it wasn't 105, right? The doctor says if 105, you take her to the hospital. Like, you know, so and when I was sick as well, I also had the flu at the time. So it was like one of those things where you're like, well, great, now I could have killed my kid, you know, and it's exhausting.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

It's because 90, yeah, it's because 99% of the time they dismiss us. And so then it becomes hard to make that decision, to make the decision in that moment. But there's so much weight on our shoulders when it comes to all of that. And same vote as you. Yesterday I washed my hair and I was debating whether or not I wanted to like full blow dry it, which is what I normally do, but right now I'm having a lot of hormonal stuff go on, and so my hair is like not very strong, and so I didn't want to subject it to heat. So I was like, we're just gonna let it air dry. We're just gonna let it air dry. I'm gonna show up like, you know, like a poodle. Yes. I don't really care. I I don't care anymore because the truth of the matter is is that I took time to even take care of my hair, to like wash my hair, to care for myself. Why are we calling it's not that? Why would that even be lazy in anyone's book? Why am I looking at myself thinking I didn't do enough? I should have done more with my hair, I should have done more with my fences.

SPEAKER_01 11:46

That's just I hate that so much.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

And the and and it's exhausting for women to have to make those decisions, data.

SPEAKER_01 11:54

So have you ever felt the pressure to always have the answer for everyone? Yeah. I was like, obviously, we always have answers, right? Yeah. Oh, it even like goes and it goes to like my kid, like, you know, last night I'm trying to work out and she's like, Mom, where is my stool? And I want to be like, bitch, it's in the pantry. Like, you know it's in the pantry.

Being The Default Information Keeper

SPEAKER_01 12:21

You went to the pantry five minutes ago to get a snack, you put your stool in there, now you're asking me. And it's just like she obviously needed some communication, she needed some connection, and her way of doing that was, well, mom knows where everything's at. I'm just gonna ask her, you know?

SPEAKER_00 12:39

I think that's a really good insight that you made. Yeah, that that is probably why they do that is because they just want to be near us, they want to be close to us, but for sure it becomes exhausting. It's fatiguing to be paying attention to something and then distracted by this question, that question, the other question. We were both married in a previous life, right? So um depending on your choice of partner, this can be um more or less intense. In my case, it was pretty intense. Like I was the default keeper of all of the information and everything, and not because I wanted to be, but because no one else took the responsibility for it. And so I became this default person that had all of the information, knew what was in the cupboards, knew what we needed to get in the grocery store, knew what time the doctor's appointments were, knew what knew where the doctor's appointment was, you know, all of this stuff. And so coming at you from all directions, asking questions um is exhausting. And it's hard to explain that, I think, sometimes to people, the people who are asking the questions.

SPEAKER_01 13:53

When it's our children, I mean, but still you have to tell them. Like sometimes I tell Cendi, I'm like, listen, mom's tired. I just need to focus. I will come get you in 10 minutes or whatever, you know, some kind of time frame that she can understand. Like, give me 15 minutes, I'll be in your room, I'll come answer any questions you have, but I have to focus, especially if it's a day I'm working too. You know, like I can't sit there and answer your questions while I'm also trying to write copy for a website. Like doesn't work for me.

SPEAKER_00 14:27

Yeah, I'm curious what what your brain looks like in those moments where you are trying to balance all of these different things, all of these competing priorities.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

And they wonder why we have ADHD.

SPEAKER_00 14:40

Um Yeah, I was just gonna say, like, how does that feel in your body? Like, how how do you feel in your body maybe during a time or after a period of time when you have exhausted?

SPEAKER_01 14:56

So let's go back to of course, you know, Vegas. So we briefly talked about this before. It was like he doesn't, I'm a picky eater, he's not a picky eater. So he thinks that me making the decision everywhere we go eat is helping me because I'm the picky eater. But really, he knows after we've been together for so long, he knows what I eat. So why am I the

Vegas Planning Versus Spontaneity

SPEAKER_01 15:22

only one making the decision? Like he knows I'm not gonna want to go to a sushi restaurant. That's easy. But everywhere has grilled chicken. I will eat chicken all day. You know, I don't care. Like, as long as it's got chicken, we always make a joke about chicken nuggets. I will eat chicken nuggets off the kids' menu at a dollar because you know I'm older than a child, apparently that matters. But it's like, you know, it's like I was making the decision, like, okay, what are we gonna do today? And we have these like things, um settings of WWN D. So what would Nick do? And then WWSD, what would Shelby do? I'm like straight planner. I like to make sure like every day's scheduled out, like that's how I live my life. He's extremely spontaneous, um, likes to just go with the flow. So in Vegas, he goes, We're doing WWND, and I'm like, okay, sure, yeah, we'll do that. Well, that also backfired because if I'm still making all the decisions, why am I not allowed? I don't want to say allowed, but why am I why can I not schedule out the day so that way I can enjoy it? I can wake up and go from this time to this time, we're gonna go here and this is where we're gonna eat. And, you know, because that's how my brain works. And so if I'm making all the decisions, why can't I make it easier for me? And he doesn't understand that because his brain's not wired that way. He thought he was helping me by allowing me to make the decision.

SPEAKER_00 16:46

Yeah, it's almost like you're already in this environment where there's so much stimulation, and all you're doing is creating a little bit of structure within that. And from my perspective, because I'm similar to that, I know many women are that seems like a smart strategy to maximize your time there and also to manage your own emotional energy. And some people are truly just like fly by the seat of their pants all the time. Uh I know very few of those people, right? They do exist in the world. But I think people like us who are managing households, parents, traveling, we are running a business, we're managing clients. You kind of have to put some structure around that, or else. Yeah, and it goes back to your original question.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Like, how does my body feel in those moments? Tired. Like I have slept so much since we've gotten home. And I think that I'm just exhausted. Like I'm mentally exhausted. And I carry a bunch of stress like on my shoulders and my neck. And so I go to the chiropractor every week. And I went yesterday and he was like, girl, I was like, I know, I know, just fix me. I'll see you next week. Like, I know I got it. I should probably come again this week. Um, but I carry a lot of my stress um on my body

Stress In The Body And Burnout

SPEAKER_01 18:09

physically. So I have it in my mind, of course, but then my body really reacts physically with it, which we were talking about earlier with the PCOS and endometriosis. Like when I have those flare-ups, I really think it is related to what's my stress level right now? I haven't slept very well the last couple of days. What's my stress level right now? Like I have a huge week because I was gone for 10 days, you know. So it's one of those where how is my body reacting? And it kind of holds on to it in a way. And so then what happens? You crave sugar, you crave sleep, you get exhausted, but you have to be efficient with your time. I have to make sure I get my to-dos done. I have to show up for my team, I have to be a mom, you know, and I have a huge event on Thursday that I'm literally gonna be at it for 12 hours talking to people. I'm like, bro, I'm thinking about taking tomorrow off. Well, okay, so today's Tuesday. Sorry, tomorrow's Wednesday. So I'm thinking about taking Wednesday off so that way I'm like mentally ready for Thursday because it's gonna exhaust me, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

And I I think that's really smart to think of your energy in that way. Yeah, because we're managing our energy every single day, and you have permission also to give yourself a day off. Right now, I'm staying at my partner's place. He's gone, he's out of the country for two weeks. But part of the reason I'm here is because I need some space from the decisions. So our homes, our home environment also often house a lot of different things that have to be done and decisions. And I'm in a place right now where I just need to maximize whatever energy that I have to get my highest priority things done. Yeah, and everything else can wait. Like nothing else is important right now. And as women, especially as mothers, we often struggle with giving ourselves that that freedom, that liberty to say, I'm actually not gonna do these things on my list right now. And maybe I won't do them ever because they don't really matter. I find the more space that I give myself on my to-do list that is long and and ridiculous, the more freedom I give myself to say no to stuff that's on there. There's certain things that have to be done. Right. You know, like these things have to be done. Some things don't actually have to be done. And you can delete them forever off of your list.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

So, how do you reduce that decision fatigue then? So you're saying like delete things off of your list. So, how else would you do that?

SPEAKER_00 20:59

For my decision to fatigue, um yeah, I I that's the biggest thing for me right now is deleting things, saying no to stuff, just saying I'm not even gonna allow that to take up space in my brain. Um, if somebody comes at me and wants to know what color paint you order to order, I just put it back on

Cutting The List And Delegating

SPEAKER_00 21:16

them. I don't care. I don't care. I try to be really clear about the things that do matter. Maybe it's that I want to find point pen or whatever it is. Like that's the thing that matters to me. Other than that, I don't care. But I do try to just turn things back over. We were talking about our children. My daughter is almost 12 now. She's very intelligent and can make a lot of decisions for herself now. So I try to empower her instead of coming to mom all the time with where's this, what's this, what can I have for a snack, all of this, try to make it really clear for her what she has the power to make decisions about. Because um the less that I can absorb and the more that I can kind of like push out to others or completely cross off the list, the more space I'm gonna have to make the decisions that I need to make. And when I'm truly fatigued, I love to just sit and not do anything. That's what I have to do to reset is that I will just sit in a chair in my home. I have a favorite chair in my home, and I will just sit there. No music, no TV, and I'll sit there for hours.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Have you ever done your human design?

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Lovely.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 22:31

I'm a manifesting generator. The projector. I can't remember.

SPEAKER_01 22:35

Yeah, so I'm a projector and we have to rest. Like, so we are always going, going, going. But really, if we don't rest, then we don't, we're not productive. So I've really honed into that the last couple of years after learning that. Um, because if I am exhausted, I'm not gonna do my best in my work. I'm not gonna be the best mom. I'm not gonna be the best partner. Like, I'm just gonna be like, dude, I'm done. I go numb, and that's just what it is, you know. So I'm the same way. I like to sit in, I like to watch reality shows. That's what I like to do. Stupid drama shows that I'm like, y'all make me feel so much better about my life. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Ah, I I totally get that. I totally get that. I've struggled watching TV for probably the last six or seven years. I think since my divorce, because I have had to go so hard and like hustle so hard, something, something has happened that's made it really difficult for me to like sit and watch TV or or just like veg out. But sitting and doing nothing for some reason. Yeah, I would freak out.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

If there wasn't any noise, I would probably be like, I think I'm in a like psychopath area. Like, I don't know what I would be doing. I'd be like, oh my god. And I've noticed, well, so that's like a like a symptom of ADHD or whatever. Like, if the room is too quiet and like your ears hurt, anyways, I've like done a bunch of research on it. Because Kinzie complained that it was too quiet in her room a couple weeks ago, and I was like, Well, that's a first. And then I was like, I thought I was the only weirdo like that. And he's like, No, it's actually like a symptom of ADHD.

SPEAKER_00 24:10

Yeah, it's fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 24:13

I get so you're the opposite. Interesting.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

Okay, super disrupted. Like, okay, I'm the opposite. If it's I want

Rest Styles And ADHD Noise Needs

SPEAKER_00 24:21

it completely silent, and that to me is is so calming. I'll put the bird food, bird seed out for my birds in the feeder, and I will just sit there, no music, no nothing, just sit there. Yeah, I might hear some chirping, and that's well, that is so interesting.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

I have a friend that's an ADHD coach, so I'm definitely gonna hit her up about that. Like, hey, tell me more about this. This is how I am, this is how Kayla is. Was it the same or is it different? It could be like the same, but in different, like on each side of the spectrum, you know, like you don't really know. But that's interesting for sure. Okay, so let's get back to this. So, um I don't know if this would even we'd be able to answer this one. If someone listening feels mentally exhausted from carrying too many decisions, what would you want them to hear? Or maybe you should we should reframe, let's reframe that. What would we want to hear from somebody as we're mentally exhausted from carrying decisions? Like, let's talk to ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 25:42

You know what I have found makes the biggest difference in the world is when people just simply validate you. Is when people, especially people, yeah. So I found for me, receiving validation from men in particular about those issues means the world to me. And not just like flip it, but like

Validation Helps More Than Advice

SPEAKER_00 26:07

yes, I understand and I see you, I see what you're doing, and maybe even acknowledging that the burden is not fair, that the weight is not fair. That to me, when I hear that from other people, when they're like, Yes, I I see you, I appreciate you, I acknowledge you, I see what you're doing, it really makes me feel like first of all, I'm not imagining it, I'm not alone, and maybe no one can fix it. Maybe that is truly the case. It can't be fixed by anyone but me, by me taking some some action here. So just hearing that from other people. So that's what I would say is if you're feeling like this, yeah. I get it. Like I get it, I feel that way too. And yeah, it's not fair. There is an unfair expectation in regards to women and the weight and the decision making and all of that. So I would say that, and then just kind of going back to what I was saying before, the more you can um kind of get help from others, from your loved ones, from people that are in your life, from people at work, the more you can kind of delegate those things out, the better. I love saying no to things.

SPEAKER_01 27:25

I started doing that like a couple well, I like I like what you said um because words of affirmation is my love language, so validation goes with that. Um, and I actually experienced that this morning. So he has um like a young, he has two daughters, but the youngest one's pretty active. And like this week he was trying to help me with my kid. Anyways, school was like, hey, half day on the last day. And they only told us, like, you know, yesterday. Um, and that's like in three days. So, anyways, he was like, Yeah, I was trying to figure out if I could come up, because we live, you know, two hours away from each other, come up and help you with her while you're at your event. And and I was like, Well, what are you talking about? Like, you can't, like, I was like, She had his daughter has a recital that night, a day a piano recital. He was like, Oh, yeah, you're right. I was like, Yeah, I am. Like, it's on the calendar, you know. So it was like, he was trying to be there for me, but then I'm also like, by the way, your daughter has like, and then I was like, So does she have her outfit? Oh no, I don't think no, I'm gonna, and her mom doesn't, she's not like me. I just that's all I'm gonna say about that. She's not like me. So it's like, okay, well, now, okay, what are we gonna wear? Do I need to bring something down to you? Do you need to go get something from the, you know, from a boutique down there? Do I need to call her? You know, the owner. I know the owner, like, do I need to call her to like help dress you for this? And then it's like, well, I'm not there to do your hair. So can your sister come over? Because she's older. Like, can she come over and do your hair? Because your dad's not gonna do your hair and you don't know how to do your hair. And it's just like, you know, the but he was like, hey, listen, like, I want you to know, I really appreciate you and what you actually do for all of us. And I was like, oh my God, thank you. Thank you. Okay. You know, like don't make me cry, but it's just like, yes, you're right. The affirmation, the validation of like, we are the keepers of the secrets, we are the keepers of the schedule, and we do know everything that's going on. Um, but whenever he asks me, well, what can I do for you? I don't always have an answer. I I don't, I don't know what that is, right? I don't know what you can do for me, but can you just tell me you love me, tell me you appreciate me? Like that also fills the bucket, and I don't make I don't mind making the decisions after that. And it's not as exhausting for some reason because I'm like, okay, there's a little bit more energy you just gave me to make these decisions because I can't delegate everything, just like with my team. I can't delegate all the tasks to them. Like I still have to make decisions for clients and sales and you know, invoices, and I still have to do all that, but um, from what I do give them, they do very well. But as you were saying about the pins, that's how I feel about my newsletters that go

Letting Go Of Perfection At Work

SPEAKER_01 30:09

out every month for my business. You know, my assistant does a great job. She's worked for me for almost six months now, and she still sends it to me for um proofing. And I finally last week was like, listen, I trust you. You are gonna do a fantastic job. You have for six months. If there is something that happens to be wrong on it, it's always fixable. A post on social media, a newsletter, everything is fixable. I mean, obviously, don't be racist, right? Or whatever, don't be like political. But outside of those things, which I know she would never be, it's like outside of that, we can fix it, you know. And it's like I can't sit here and read a newsletter. That's why I don't do it. Because if I do that, I'm gonna change everything, and then I would do the task that you've already done, and that would be totally pointless.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Yeah, you're brilliant because so it's not easy.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

It's not easy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

It's so many business owners, yeah. You you have to though, yeah. And and that is the way, like I said before, that is the way to free yourself, is you have to let go of some of that stuff. We have to let go of controlling everything, we have to let go of the perfection around it, and then um we have to, I think, also hold the people in our lives to a higher standard. We're talking about our partners, it's great for them to acknowledge, but it's a whole other thing for them to do the thing before they even need to be asked for it, asked to do it. That to me is like you can do something without asking me what what needs to be done or how to do it.

SPEAKER_01 31:45

Yeah, and um, we're I'm lucky because his love language is acts of service, so that's how he shows his love. And so when we got back, I had to work the first day that we got back, and he stayed home and did all the laundry.

The Bare Minimum And Double Standards

SPEAKER_01 31:58

I was like, This is the first time I appreciate the fact that your love language is acts of service because I didn't have to ask him to do it. I got home after working for about eight hours that day, and he was like, Okay, all the laundry's done. And I was like, like everything? He's like, Yeah, everything's done. I was like, Oh my god, thank you, you know.

SPEAKER_00 32:19

See, and this is yeah, and this is this is the part where it's like, okay, can we just acknowledge this big gap here? The fact that as women respond like that when men do something like the laundry, which is rocket science, it's so easy to do the laundry. Give me a break. We have washing machines, right? But when they do the laundry, when they do the dishes, when they vacuum, when they actually keep a calendar, we're like, oh yay, he did this thing. That's just like a basic adult activity. That's gonna be gold stars anymore for that. I am not giving gold stars. If a man cannot do those things, I can't love that.

SPEAKER_01 33:00

That was hilarious. But you're so right. I did give him gold stars for that, and I probably should have been like, okay, because what would they say? Okay, that's the bare minimum. Like, hey, I did the laundry today, like, okay. Surroundable, okay. Oh my gosh, that's so true. I should have been like, well, you know what? Let me go through my list of what I did today and how many sales I made and calls I made and emails I sent and all the tasks I got done. I should do that. Yeah, that's a good one. That's hilarious. And every woman watching, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:33

Or next time you do the laundry, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

Next time you do the laundry. I did the laundry today, and he's like, Okay, uh, I'm gonna need a gold star. Yes, I'm gonna need an applause. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

Can you imagine if we posted on Instagram every time we did something like did the laundry or folded towels or made dinner?

SPEAKER_01 33:55

We should do that just to test it.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

It nobody cares. But if a man were to do that, people would be like, oh, what an amazing man.

SPEAKER_01 34:05

Well, it's like whenever dads show up for school pickup for some reason, it's like a big deal. Like, oh my god, you showed and I'm like, I mean, he does it two days a week. I literally do it every other day, but okay, guy. And I take her to school every day. Let's talk about that part. She wants to come at me with like, y'all ever pick me up. Like, girl, I bring you to school every morning at 7:40, so you can go into the big door because I'm a great mom. Like, hello, you know. Like, can we talk about that? Not like, oh, dad's picking me up today. And I'm like, okay, great, cool. I'm so glad he is. That's awesome. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:44

Exactly. Yeah. It's just these little things that we can start to pay attention to. The little things don't make sense that we have accepted.

SPEAKER_01 34:53

That's gonna be our next topic. That's our next topic for sure. That's why I'm here. I can't wait. That's gonna be a good one. Yeah, yeah. I enjoyed it. And anybody that wants to comment, let us know. What are you exhausted about decision or deciding on? What are some of the decisions you've had to make, or give us some of your tips? Maybe you have some insight on like how we can also be better at making decisions and not being so tired at the end of it, right? Yeah, we'll take all that. We're about self-development here. That's why we do these.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

Absolutely. I love it. I always love talking to you. I love these topics. Same, same, same.

SPEAKER_01 35:35

All right, guys, we'll catch you on the next one. And when is that gonna be? It's a surprise. Never know. Bye guys.

Listener Prompts And Wrap Up

SPEAKER_00 35:45

That's how we do it.