Motherhood and Business: Finding Harmony, Not Balance

We don't need perfect balance between business and motherhood – we need harmony. After having my daughter during COVID, I learned that some days my personal life takes 80% of my energy, while other days my business needs more, and that's okay.

• As entrepreneurs, we're drawn to flexibility but struggle with the reality of juggling responsibilities
• Having a baby completely changed my priorities in unexpected ways
• Returned to work just three weeks after giving birth as the main breadwinner 
• Initially resisted daycare but discovered it helped both me and my daughter thrive
• Learning to embrace vulnerability instead of always being "boss bae"
• Letting go of perfectionism opens doors to growth personally and professionally
• Children can understand when we communicate honestly about our work needs
• Being authentic with clients about motherhood strengthens business relationships
• We can integrate our business and mother identities rather than compartmentalizing

If you're struggling with finding harmony between motherhood and business, reach out to me on Instagram or Facebook. We're badasses and can do anything we put our minds to!

Chapters

• 0:53 Welcome to Marketing Happy Hour
• 1:25 Motherhood and Business Harmony
• 3:21 My Journey as a New Mom
• 5:51 Allowing Vulnerability as a Leader
• 7:58 The Daycare Decision
• 9:53 Finding Work-Life Flexibility
• 13:02 Encouragement for Mom CEOs

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:27

Hey guys, what's up? It's Shelby here with Marketing Happy Hour Podcast. So glad that you tuned in to another episode with me. I love doing these weekly. It gets me a little time to share some of my skills. It gives me time to share some of my recommendations for your marketing.

Speaker 1: 0:43

But today we're going to dive into a little bit more of a personal side of my life, because I talk a lot about business. But you know, honestly, as business owners we have a really big juggle or balance, or harmony and I'll get into that between our personal life and our business life. And today I want to talk directly to my mamas, who are CEOs. Or maybe you're running a business, maybe you're an executive in a business, maybe you have a nice little side gig that you're trying to make your full time and you're just like how the heck do I actually balance all of this? So I'm going to dive into a little bit about how I guess the beginning of all of this worked for me. I never have been great at balancing personal and business life and when I talked to my business coach about this a few years ago, he told me to stop using the word balance and start using the word harmony, because there is no way that you can get 50-50 on both sides right. Every day is different when it comes to percentages. It's going to be like well, my personal life took about 80%. Today, business got about 20% of my energy, or maybe the business took about 75% of your energy, so you only had 25 when you got home or with your kid, and they're just going to have to acknowledge that and be okay with it. And so when I became a mom my baby is four right now and she's a little COVID baby but when I became a mom, my entire life totally changed. It was something that I really wanted my entire life, and then found out some news that I probably wouldn't have a kid. Anyways, long story short, obviously ended up having a kid. She is a miracle baby and I love her, but I will. I would be wrong to say that she didn't completely change my entire life.

Speaker 1: 2:33

At the time that I had gotten pregnant with her, I was really into my work, my business was, my baby. Obviously COVID had just hit and I didn't even know if, like, I was going to be able to survive COVID, like when it came to business or whatever. And then finding out I was pregnant. On top of that is a lot to handle mentally. But the moment that I had her and was holding her in the hospital, I was like why do I feel like I can do this? I just had, like this sudden, like responsibility come about me. Things in this world that I thought mattered didn't matter anymore, things in this world that I thought mattered didn't matter anymore. I was very, all about business. I was very honed into that lifestyle where I worked a lot.

Speaker 1: 3:25

Some people called me a workaholic and it was weird because I was like how is something more important than the thing that's always been most important in my life and that's my business? But if you think about it, business was my baby to begin with, and I always tell people like, yeah, it's always been my first born. I mean, I'm coming up on 10 years of business and that's a really long time One to be in business for as a self-employed person, which I'm super grateful and honored and blessed. And two, it's a really long time and effort and a lot of energy and a lot of seasons of drought and a lot of seasons of good and going up and down, and so really having a business is just like having a child. You have to make sure it's fed, you have to make sure it's sleeping, you have to make sure that it's got the responsibilities that it needs, that it handles itself. You've got to mature with the business.

Speaker 1: 4:14

So, back to whenever I had my baby, I was going to take off about three months. That ended up not being able to work out, and so I ended up having to go back into work, of course, because I was literally all. The only thing that kept my business afloat was me, and I do look back and regret that, because I did not set up my business correctly and I had literally nine months to set it up but I did not set it up correctly so that way I could take the right amount of rest for me and for Mackenzie and making sure that I would like jump back in and really be rested and like ready to go. But instead that didn't happen. So I started working again about three weeks after having her and making sure that, like sign jobs were getting done, my social media clients were being handled, I was trying to sell, because I was the main breadwinner of the family and so if I didn't sell anything, then we weren't going to eat very well that day or that week and so we just had a baby. I had to make sure that we had money in the bank and we had savings coming in, um anyways. So all of that to say, I really just kind of want to give you what a typical week looks like for me as a CEO and a mom, and, right now, full-time single mom and I am.

Speaker 1: 5:40

Some days I'm really great, some days I'm really not, and I've learned as an Enneagram 8 I usually steer away from emotions. I try to just tough it out. I try to just tough it out. I try to just really push through the things that are not very fun. But once I started realizing that I'm not allowing these emotions to come through and that it was really hindering me more, I now allow myself to rest. I allow myself to feel weak. I allow myself to just have those emotional breakdowns with my kid when she has those emotional breakdowns, and to understand that she has those emotional breakdowns and to understand that it's okay that I'm not always okay as annoying as that saying is, but it's true it's okay that you are not always a boss bitch, like I have always been called boss bae. That's literally on all of my Instagram tags, facebook. I also have a bunch of nicknames as boss babe and I just had this persona before having Kenzie that I couldn't let anything weak come out. And I kind of regret that now too, because I feel like I could have advanced a lot more as a person. I could have advanced a lot more in my business if I would have let those vulnerable moments come through earlier. But I am grateful that my kid came into my life and has helped me really understand all of this.

Speaker 1: 7:01

So when she was first born, I took her to sign jobs with me. She was with me every day in my kangaroo pouch, which is a little front pouch. She went to meetings with me. She, I guess, started learning from day one and I had it in my mind that I was going to be like this amazing superwoman of a mom. I was going to work full time. I was going to take care of my kid full time. I was not ever going to let anybody else take care of her. Like I used to think daycares were disgusting and a complete waste of money and I was like, why would I drop my kid off with somebody else and let them raise them when I'm not going to see her. And, wow, did my mind completely change about that situation.

Speaker 1: 7:49

It was the hardest thing I've ever done trying to run a business, trying to raise her, making sure because she like wanted to be held every day whenever she napped. A lot of times I tried to sleep when she did because I was so exhausted from having her all night. But then, about 14 months, I looked into daycares and started out part-time two days a week and I, of course, was super emotional the first couple of times it happened. And then I started being like okay, I've got like me time. Like okay, I can like go and do a little bit of shopping, which is easier without a 14 month old. I can do some work, I can go to meetings, I can actually like dress up and feel pretty for the day, rather than always being in like workout clothes or sweatpants. And those two days a week ended up turning out full time and she completely thrived in daycare.

Speaker 1: 8:42

In that moment is when I realized that we are all gifted in certain areas and I was not gifted to be a full time mother. I can tell you I was not gifted to make sure that my kid knows her ABCs, or one, two, threes or anything like that. So the school and the teachers really helped out on that aspect, because that's what they're gifted in and now that she's in pre-K four, like it is just amazing. She loves school, she loves to go Her social, she's a little social butterfly. She does so well and she's thriving in that area because I have taken my pride out of it, put her into something that was going to help her succeed more in the future, and then I get to focus on my first baby in my business. So I mean, now I really love that I have the flexibility of it.

Speaker 1: 9:32

Right, as entrepreneurs, we go into this with this idea of like, oh, I can work whenever I want to, I can go on vacation whenever I want to. Like, I make my own schedule and that's the glory and the amazing part about being a business owner is you do have the flexibility. Yes, I have to answer to 50 plus clients every week when it comes to, like, digital marketing stuff, but I get to choose when I answer my phone, when I text them back, when I email. I set those boundaries between me and my clients and so that's what makes it great. So, when she's on break or if she's maybe sick one day, then I always have the opportunity to be that mom for the day and understand that that 80% is going to my mom life versus 80% going to business. I also have noticed that she loves to work with me and that part makes me so proud because I grew up with a dad that owned his own business and I watched him grow and be successful in his life and I know what I felt like towards my dad, like really like just looked up to him a lot and I really hope that Kenzie does the same thing, and y'all have heard her on the podcast.

Speaker 1: 10:47

She loves to go take pictures with me. She has a little camera of her own. I let her take pictures whenever we are out at photo shoots. She, if I have to take her to one of my client meetings, they're always okay with it because she sits there like really, really quiet. She's very, still, um and, honestly, they love to have her around because it's just showing my authentic self to my clients that are here local. They love to know, like you know, what Shelby is definitely professional, but look at her on the other side and I really think that it shows the authenticity of me and how I run my business and run my life, and I always share a lot about her on social media because people that have been my clients for almost 10 years or eight years they have. They knew me before Kenzie and so they love to see her on there and like how she's thriving and how, like what we do in our personal life and things like that.

Speaker 1: 11:41

So I just want to encourage you if you are a mother in business, maybe you're the CEO, maybe you're an executive, maybe you have that side hustle that we talked about. I want you to let go of perfection and just trust the process of being a mother and a business person and that's coming from someone that is a perfectionist. So know that you are not alone. If you have those days where you just want to lay on the couch.

Speaker 1: 12:06

If I've had a long day at work and Kinsey comes home from school and I really just want to lay on the couch, I tell her listen, mama's had a really long day. I'm going to lay on the couch, let's turn on a movie. Or if you want to go play in your room, you're more than welcome to. I want to have that open communication with her rather than always feeling like I have to be on all the time for her because I can't, because I was on all day at work and so I had to give less of myself to her and she had to understand that. So if you're struggling with it, feel free reach out, connect with me on Instagram, on Facebook, and I would love to talk about anything that you need help with, or maybe just more of the harmony of that mother life plus the business owner life. But just know y'all, we are badasses and we can do anything. We put our mind to Catch you on the next one.